1. �I�d like to consider Ferrari as a scaled down version of God.�
2. [On the Porsche Boxster] �It couldn�t pull a greased stick out of a pig�s bottom.�
3. [When driving the Mercedes SLR McLaren through a tunnel] �When they debate as to what the sound of the SLR engine was akin to, the British engineers from McLaren said it sounded like a Spitfire. But the German engineers from Mercedes said �Nein! Nein! Sounds like a Messerschmitt!� They were both wrong. It sounds like the God of Thunder, gargling with nails.�
4. �I�m sorry, but having an Aston Martin DB9 on the drive and not driving it is a bit like having Keira Knightley in your bed and sleeping on the couch. If you�ve got even half a scrotum it�s not going to happen.�
5. �Speed has never killed anyone, suddenly becoming stationary� that�s what gets you.�
6. �Koenigsegg are saying that the CCX is more comfortable. More comfortable than what� being stabbed?�
7. [On Detroit] �God may have created the world in six days, but while he was resting on the seventh, Beelzebub popped up and did this place.�
8. �Owning a TVR in the past was like owning a bear. I mean it was great, until it pulled your head off, which it would.�
9. [On the Renault Clio V6] �I think the problem is that it�s French. It�s a surrendermonkey.�
10. [On the Enzo Ferrari] �I rang up Jay Kay, who�s got one, and said: �Can we borrow yours?� and he said, �Yeah, if I can borrow your daughter, because it amounts to the same thing.�
11. [On the Porsche Cayenne] �I�ve seen gangrenous wounds better looking than this!�
12. �The air conditioning in Lamborghinis used to be an asthmatic sitting in the dashboard blowing at you through a straw.�
13. �Whenever I�m suffering from insomnia, I just look at a picture of a Toyota Camry and I�m straight off.�
14. �If you were to buy a [BMW] 6-series, I recommend you select reverse when leaving friends� houses so they don�t see its backside.�
15. �That [Pagani] Zonda, really! It�s like a lion in orange dungarees. Kind of fierce, but ridiculous all at the same time.�
16. [On a Chevrolet Corvette] �The Americans lecture the world on democracy and then won�t let me turn the traction control off!�
17. [On the Alfa Romeo Brera] �Think of it as Angelina Jolie. You�ve heard she�s mad and eats nothing but wallpaper paste. But you would, wouldn�tyou?�
18. �A turbo: exhaust gasses go into the turbocharger and spin it, witchcraft happens and you go faster.�
19. �This is a Renault Espace, probably the best of the people carriers. Not that that�s much to shout about. That�s like saying �Oh good, I�ve got syphilis, the best of the sexually transmitted diseases!��
20. �In the olden days I always got the impression that TVR built a car, put it on sale, and then found out how it handled � usually when one of their customers wrote to the factory complaining about how dead he was.�
21. [On the Mercedes CLS55 AMG] �It sounds like Barry White eating wasps.�
22. �I�d rather go to work on my hands and knees than drive there in a Ford Galaxy. Whoever designed the Ford Galaxy upholstery had a cauliflower fixation. I would rather have a vasectomy than buy a Ford Galaxy.�
23. �Usually, a Range Rover would be beaten away from the lights by a diesel powered wheelbarrow.�
24. �Racing cars which have been converted for road use never really work. It�s like making a hardcore adult film, and then editing it so that it can be shown in British hotels. You�d just end up with a sort of half hour close up of some bloke�s sweaty face.�
25. �I don�t understand bus lanes. Why do poor people have to get to places quicker than I do?� from http://fuckyeahjeremyclarkson.tumblr.com/post/553895136/25-awesome-jeremy-clarkson-quotes Via Nathan Redden
2. [On the Porsche Boxster] �It couldn�t pull a greased stick out of a pig�s bottom.�
3. [When driving the Mercedes SLR McLaren through a tunnel] �When they debate as to what the sound of the SLR engine was akin to, the British engineers from McLaren said it sounded like a Spitfire. But the German engineers from Mercedes said �Nein! Nein! Sounds like a Messerschmitt!� They were both wrong. It sounds like the God of Thunder, gargling with nails.�
4. �I�m sorry, but having an Aston Martin DB9 on the drive and not driving it is a bit like having Keira Knightley in your bed and sleeping on the couch. If you�ve got even half a scrotum it�s not going to happen.�
5. �Speed has never killed anyone, suddenly becoming stationary� that�s what gets you.�
6. �Koenigsegg are saying that the CCX is more comfortable. More comfortable than what� being stabbed?�
7. [On Detroit] �God may have created the world in six days, but while he was resting on the seventh, Beelzebub popped up and did this place.�
8. �Owning a TVR in the past was like owning a bear. I mean it was great, until it pulled your head off, which it would.�
9. [On the Renault Clio V6] �I think the problem is that it�s French. It�s a surrendermonkey.�
10. [On the Enzo Ferrari] �I rang up Jay Kay, who�s got one, and said: �Can we borrow yours?� and he said, �Yeah, if I can borrow your daughter, because it amounts to the same thing.�
11. [On the Porsche Cayenne] �I�ve seen gangrenous wounds better looking than this!�
12. �The air conditioning in Lamborghinis used to be an asthmatic sitting in the dashboard blowing at you through a straw.�
13. �Whenever I�m suffering from insomnia, I just look at a picture of a Toyota Camry and I�m straight off.�
14. �If you were to buy a [BMW] 6-series, I recommend you select reverse when leaving friends� houses so they don�t see its backside.�
15. �That [Pagani] Zonda, really! It�s like a lion in orange dungarees. Kind of fierce, but ridiculous all at the same time.�
16. [On a Chevrolet Corvette] �The Americans lecture the world on democracy and then won�t let me turn the traction control off!�
17. [On the Alfa Romeo Brera] �Think of it as Angelina Jolie. You�ve heard she�s mad and eats nothing but wallpaper paste. But you would, wouldn�tyou?�
18. �A turbo: exhaust gasses go into the turbocharger and spin it, witchcraft happens and you go faster.�
19. �This is a Renault Espace, probably the best of the people carriers. Not that that�s much to shout about. That�s like saying �Oh good, I�ve got syphilis, the best of the sexually transmitted diseases!��
20. �In the olden days I always got the impression that TVR built a car, put it on sale, and then found out how it handled � usually when one of their customers wrote to the factory complaining about how dead he was.�
21. [On the Mercedes CLS55 AMG] �It sounds like Barry White eating wasps.�
22. �I�d rather go to work on my hands and knees than drive there in a Ford Galaxy. Whoever designed the Ford Galaxy upholstery had a cauliflower fixation. I would rather have a vasectomy than buy a Ford Galaxy.�
23. �Usually, a Range Rover would be beaten away from the lights by a diesel powered wheelbarrow.�
24. �Racing cars which have been converted for road use never really work. It�s like making a hardcore adult film, and then editing it so that it can be shown in British hotels. You�d just end up with a sort of half hour close up of some bloke�s sweaty face.�
25. �I don�t understand bus lanes. Why do poor people have to get to places quicker than I do?� from http://fuckyeahjeremyclarkson.tumblr.com/post/553895136/25-awesome-jeremy-clarkson-quotes Via Nathan Redden
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